Tag: teenageblog

i didnt go to bed lol (pt. 2)

hiiiiiiii. i thought maybe i should explain more about the title of this blog.

ive always idealized movies like perks of being a wallflower, not the sad parts, but the teenage moments where the kids peak in highschool and are having the time of their lives and each moment is fleeting but right now and right here is all they know. that innocence and happiness is something i think everyone really wants. not that i want to peak in high school, i just want high school to be great and everything else that follows that to be infinitely better. but as i mentioned, im about to be a senior so its kind of hard to redeem a whole highschool career of depression (tea)….

theres this scene in perks of being a wallflower and its when sam, charlie, and patrick are driving in the tunnel and heroes by david bowie is playing and sam stands through the sunroof with her hands behind her and basking in how awesome the song and this specific moment is. i dont even really like that song by bowie that much, but that scene evokes this indescribable emotion and yearning in me. i only have a select few songs that meet that criteria for me, its really the tunnel test. maybe one day ill post the playlist i have of my tunnel songs but aint nobody deserve to know me like that yet.

also i keep talking about perks of being a wallflower like im obsessed with it but im really not ive only seen the movie like 3 times max its just something about it that captures me and how i feel about a lot of things just by watching it. there are very few things in life where you can not experience it but still feel that emotion secondhand. ugh sorry i just wanted to justify that.

also me and my friend always drive around with the windows down listening to cliche indie music and look at birds and clouds and talk about how in a few moments when the right song starts to play, we feel like were the main characters everyone wants to be and know. i feel like thats kind of conceited but its true. that feeling is like being you against the world but for a moment, the world doesnt stand a damn chance against you and you feel on fire with hope for life and idk if im just really depressed and am obsessed with that feeling or im some indie movie moment junkie and i should seek help… i think either option means i need to seek help omg bye

i cant tell if its because im a teenage girl in a dying world or im a writer or its both, but i am hopelessly filled with hope and ambition and expectations and depressed and scared all at the same time. i think my knowledge and surroundings tell me to be scared and hopeless while my nature as a person and at this specific moment in my life i have to be wide eyed with love and potential. ive said hope so much while writing and rewriting this idek if its a real word anymore. maybe im making it up and thats why it seems so damn unattainable!

i might genuinely be two people omg so quirky me documenting my mental illness thru a wordpress blog i made at 1 am. this is so on brand for me its disgusting.

in 30 years i want some random teenager to find this website while im probably living life at the age of (almost 50 wtf ew) and definitely dont remember making this. thats seriously all i want, that poor girl who stumbles upon this is gonna be like damn the 2000s generation was fucking weird. girl, youre correct. omg what if its my own daughter. omg see here i go again with these cheesy ideas.. hi sweaty hope u did ur homework ok but seriously gtfo bc imma be talking about bad stuff… jk but omg how fucjing annoying is it that like im probably gonna shelter my kids so much but here i am like ?? ive done a ton of stupid shit that would probably get me murdered and in hindsight i should 100% be dead or in jail by now but my kids are gonna be like “omg mom was such a loser in highschool she just studied”

ok dont think im like a crackhead or anything… just teenage rebellion and angst making me do stupid normalish teen shit. omg i need to keep this clean. i start bleeping my curse words like annoying a** youtubers trying to get monetized… like if u dont just die already…. omg can wordpress delete a post or a blog for being problematic. im the jovan of wordpress…… ok on that note i need to die so goodnight i swear this time this is stupid again anyways love u

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this is so stupid (pt. 1)

hi. so i had a random, spur of the moment idea to create a public diary like im in some cheesy movie and am about to get asked to prom with flowers and a big grand gesture and we all aww and coo and go home feeling sadder and lonelier than we were when we bought the damn tickets.

right now, it’s 1 in the morning and im listening to sad taylor swift songs because im on my period and crying just sounds sooo good right now. i also don’t know if i should introduce myself or let yall just figure it out…… i say yall as if anyone is actually reading this besides my future employer because this will somehow get traced back to me and id die of actual embarrassment… if thats the case, hi mr/mrs employer i promise im soo smart and this blog is teenage angst and goofery i promise im smarter now just click off ok ily.

i feel like this is so awkward like someone will find it and tweet “oomf thinks shes in perks of being a wallflower… unstan” and id probably cry.

ok whatever, hi im not saying my name so it isnt necessary. im she/her, pronouns are all we need right?? i like to write and im about to start my senior year of highschool. im a pisces. ummmmmmmmmmm what else. i love twitter and all kinds of music really. im a really daydreamy person so most of these posts will be about the life i want for myself or how im gonna marry some gorgeous celebrity who is my new obsession of the week. i also really really love music and i dont mean that in like i love to make music i mean like im always listening to music my spotify recap for 2018 was like 78,000 hours of music i listened to…. i actually dont know how many hours thats probably a HUGE exaggeration but anyways. ill probably post a lot of laundry lists of songs.

i guess my expectations for this blog is just for me to write how i feel regularly and its so much easier to ramble when i type so dont really expect me just talking about my day. its gonna be more ranty and i promise ill try to use periods and commas and whatever. i act like i dont run a regular blog about other stuff where its proofread 76 times before i post. but i promise im not dumb LOL

um, i dont know if i should just get into it and end it here. i might end it here and should really fall asleep crying to untouchable by taylor swift like its my damn job.

ok ok ok im about to stop, but basically if anyone is reading this and wants to talk like comment and ill reply or comment ur email or ur instagram and we can be blog bffs omg so cute but yea!!! idk how anyone is ever gonna find this and even enjoy it. ok im going to bed i promise the next posts willbe more structured and make more sense ok gn